the mixed emotions of mothering

By the end of church yesterday I was convinced that my Azure was Satan's spawn, switched at birth.  Some would blame 1 pm meeting time.  But I watch the other babies.  Many cozy up and sleep when tired.  Others are pacified by toys or bottles.  Mine pushes, pulls, yanks, throws, exposes, screams and generally makes a scene.  And yesterday I was ready to give her back.  No refund required. 

We came home and by 4:30 she conked.  At 11:00 Jim checked for signs of life.  Still conked.  So we went to bed rejoicing. 

When I awoke today at 5:45 a.m. I should have hunkered down for holiday sleep-in.  Instead I lay in bed missing my girl.  Terribly.  Debating a visit to her room.  Daydreaming about the rare moments when she leans in for wet kisses on my cheek or bare arms.

I suppose we'll keep her.

Comments

[Tiffany]

generally makes a scene. yup. been there. :)

I'd say she looks like a keeper for sure! What a cutie!

[Shanon]

ROTFL!! I don't think I've ever heard you say that! We think the same thing about Satan's spawn with Lil Pil!! It must be in the Scott blood. I wouldn't give her back either!

[Jill S.]

I think you captured the complexity of motherhood in this post!

[April]

Well, exactly.

P.S. I went to bed thinking about that picture of the kids craning their necks, open-mouthed staring at your mom reading. And wishing I could have been sitting there enjoying that story. It looked amazing. One of my favorite pictures ever, Meems.

[Angie Ras]

Funny. I tell myself EVERY single Sunday on the way home that I'm not going back until the babies are 3. It's almost more work than it's worth. And Justin and I are always commenting that everyone else's 2 year olds sit still and 1 year olds don't throw fits, while ours draw unwanted attention constantly.

Azure is so dang cute! I can't believe she's growing up so fast. (Doesn't it *almost* make you want to have another?)

[Katie A.]

That baby? I scene-maker?? No. I can't believe! Definitely a keeper in spite of it all. Mine is a scene-maker too. Usually he can keep it together pretty well, but when he comes undone, oh boy! It's the times when I brag to people that he is such an easy-going baby that he really ends up losing it. Of course! What can you do? P.S. I love her skirt!