this & that

There’s a time warp to blogging. When “in the zone” I click through blogs an average of three times a day. So when a blog I love stays blank for three days, it’s really more like nine in this time-warped universe – an entirely unacceptable absence. And if someone has the gall to not post for a week, it may as well be a month.

But the time warp theory somehow does not apply in the reverse. I have not checked others’ or written on my own blog for a week(ish), and I only noticed when I started to get concerned e-mails and phone calls a few days back. Asking if I’m stressed, depressed, busy, alive…and my favorite query was Kel’s e-mail titled “quoi the hell?”

Well, this is the short version of *quoi the hell* is going on: definitely not Depressed…moderately Stressed…randomly Busy…very much Alive. Life is as it should be.

But I did return from Iowa with an issue. And let me start by saying I’ve done my fair share of world & cross-country travel. Still. Those eight days in Iowa managed to completely tamper with my sleep schedule. And I returned shockingly UNABLE to stay up past 9:30 PM or sleep past 7:00 AM. Which is both a blessing and a tragedy. A normalized sleep pattern was long overdue. But I did thrive on my nocturnal addictions to writing, reading, Jim, & projects. I feel like hours have been sneakily stolen from the universally endowed 24, but I can. not. stay awake at night to redeem them.

Plus, my camera lens is busted. On Monday I pulled it out to take a picture of my A with his “Star of the Week” poster. And that’s when I noticed that the lens was jammed in a way that prevented zooming & focusing. The memory card wasn’t in, so it wouldn’t take a picture anyway, but I have been too much of a Wimp to insert the card and try again. Possible confirmation of it truly being broken makes me stomach roll. I'm sure that sounds ridiculous, but I’ll give it a few more days. I’m not mentally ready to drop a few hundred dollars on a new lens.  Then again, I'm not mentally ready to give up taking pictures.  Arghh. 

Plus, I’m feeling rather uninspired & unimaginative. I know that’s when I should force myself to write, but I’m caught up between the frustration of wanting to do Real writing and not knowing precisely what I mean by that. I tried to explain to Jim last night, but came off sounding selfish. And perhaps I am. I don’t love feeling spread thin in a way that makes me “okay” at dozens of skills, when I’d prefer to be truly Outstanding at one.

And I definitely don't mean for that to sound whiny.  I do  LOVE this season of life. I love time with my {not so} tiny Two. And know that it flies by far too quickly to waste any amount worrying about side hobbies in the midst of what is All & should be Enough. Still.  Once in a while I do wonder.  But mostly when I'm behind on laundry.

Comments

[Megan]

Is that last sentence suppose to be a riddle, or is my lack of sleep messing with my brain?
Good to have you back, I was starting to get super annoyed that you hadn't been blogging.

[carlo]

was the first paragraph directed at others or just me?

(in other words, I am so out of it that i don't even know if others are blogging or not. and i find that unacceptable! yikes-- i miss so much. miss you friend!)

glad to see that i haven't been moved to absentee bloggers (just yet, anyway!!)

[Melissa M.]

Yay Amy posted! I had not given up hope. Sorry about your camera. I too sometimes ignore things in hope that they will magically be taken care of on their own.

[Marie]

Amy's back! I have missed you! Sorry to hear about your camera. That totally stinks. I don't know how I would get anything done if I went to bed at 9:30. It seems like all my busy-projects (as I like to call all self imposed, completely expendable activites) are done after the kids are in bed. There is just no way to do them during their awake time. But if that is what your body is telling you, you'd better listen!

[Tiffany]

Welcome back! I love your time warp theory--too true! Cameras and writing and thinking and sleeping... Good luck with all!

[Amberly]

I'm glad you're back and I hope you find whatever drive is currently lacking. I also hope a new lense magically appears on your doorstep.. sending good vibes your way!!

[Neighbor Jane Payne]

I'm glad you had time to post, Amy. I missed you. I'm on 9:30 pm retiree, so I have no advice to give you!

[Holly]

Hello my dear cousin Amy! This is my attempt at redeeming my non-comment writing over the past dozen or more stops at your site. (I did leave a little quip on your cooking blog once).

I love watching your boys (including Jim) grow up and all the sisterly love you've got going on. I suppose I must leave comments on Meg's and Mandi's blogs too!

Love ya,

Holly

[April]

I was starting to get a bit worried...but Kel just said it straight out...thank goodness for that.

I HEAR you loud and clear on your last two paragraphs...blogging was/is fulfilling an interim writing need for me but it has turned into much more of an enterprise than I thought it would, so then I ask myself if I hadn't just rather jump into the "real thing." But then this is just soooo much easier and soooo much safer.

Sorry about all that gobbledygook...maybe I ought to try the 9:30 bedtime before I attempt commenting. Just so happy to have a new post from you. I was really missing my "window."

[Katie]

Sorry to hear about your camera. When I broke mine a few summers back, I cried and cried. Not quite sure why it hit me so hard.

I am glad to hear that you are very much alive. If only laundry were a leave-it-alone-and-it-will-go-away thing.

[kim sue]

yuck - I would have to skip going to the grocery and buy a camera. I couldn't function without one. I have always loved my camera but now with blogging, I have it with me all the time.

Laundry...drives me insane. It NEVER goes away! No matter how hard you work at it, there is always more and more and more and more.

[Lucy]

I've missed you! I understand and agree. But, even still, I'm always glad when you have something to say, because you say it so well:)

[jenny c.]

Like the other gals I too have been periodically checking up on your world. Glad to hear everything is fine. I can't seem to stay awake either and I haven't even gone on a vacation! I guess that is why my blog is slacking too, I have chosen my bed over the computer. Sorry about your camera, I hope you find a way to fix it soon.

[Jill]

I thought maybe you'd gone out of town. How does one go from checking blogs 3x a day to not at all for a week? I definitely experience certain ebbs and flows with blogging, but I guess only not having access to the internet at all can keep me away for a week at a time. I'm a junkie.

The busted camera lens would be seriously upsetting to me as well. Hopefully it's not as bad as you think.

[Rachel]

Glad your back! Glad you been sleeping! Glad you took a break for some creative regrouping!

Sad your camera broke! Sad that to replace it is going to be a hit to your budget!

Understand the longing and pull to REALLY DO something, but to have to put it off until "later." Well said.

[Michelle M.]

I'm happy to see you back, and posting! I read your comment about getting together for a bloggers get together. I think we for sure need to do it! I will give you a call at the begining of the week. Happy Sabbath! :)

[Barb]

From what I learned at my continuing education classes, your new sleep schedule is ideal!
I can't decide if I'm a renaissance woman with many skills or a jack of all trade master of none.

[Kelly]

Who knew a "quoi the hell" email would be the spark to bring you back! Perhaps it's a magical phrase for all other aspects of my life.

Glad you're back!

[Annalisa]

I go through phases where I don't want to blog this week or even next and then I panic that I don't know what's going on in anyone's life and it's going to take me forever to get caught up and I start thinking about random people that I have checked in on in forever.
I hope your camera is alright.

[michelle]

"I don’t love feeling spread thin in a way that makes me “okay” at dozens of skills, when I’d prefer to be truly Outstanding at one." YES! Exactly.

And *quoi the hell* -- classic.