to Davyn at three:
Thursday, January 31, 2008 at 11:32PM You crumbled into sleep upon my bed tonight…and I don’t have the heart to move you. Mostly because there you still seem tiny.
Your birthday is tomorrow. Tonight I told you the story of our first meeting. You stared, entranced, responding with gasps or smiles or kisses at any proper juncture (I love that you deem kisses “proper” at every juncture). Aidan came in midway through the storying…appropriately at the “ready to meet big brother” chapter. It will forever be one of my favorite stories that “big brother” was far from ready to meet you. Jenna sat in a chair holding you, I was bed bound, and Aidan came in with Grandma Kay…hesitant. His eyes darted between you and me - back & forth & forth & back. Words eventually came with a slowly shaking head, “No, no, no, no, no..No..NO”. And “big brother” bolted….completely unprepared to face you, the usurper. Grandma Kay somehow coaxed his return. And you met your brother face to face.
Dad was smart and, in an attempt to ease Aidan’s trauma, brought home a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle from “the new baby”. Your brother’s reaction touched me as tenderly as his pained hospital visit had. The toy came with two tiny swords. One sword he immediately placed in the TMNT’s readied hand. The other, he brought to you. Your tiny newborn fingers grasped it tightly for the rest of the day.
And Aidan has loved you ever since.
It took me far less time. You were…and still are in many ways (when you aren’t practicing your new-found stubbornness!)…my calmer. I remember our hospital days fondly. I spoke tenderly to you, and your eyes spoke volumes back. You loved this part of the story tonight. Aidan was concerned that “eyes don’t talk”…but you merely kissed me, wordless. Yes, eyes and kisses both do a fine job of speaking. And, to you, those subtleties are innate. You pat backs, stroke cheeks, rub arms – all your language far more than the typical “why?’s” and “what?’s” of this talking age.
Dad was telling me about looking at a Star Wars book with you the other day. The Princess Leia page. He asked which picture you thought was prettiest. Pausing, you surveyed all, running a hand over each, seemingly in thought. Then replied, “Mom”. It melts my heart, of course. Even knowing that my days as “the most beautiful” are numbered. Still. I love the connection that we have. And the Love that you – one tiny human – have brought into our home. Aidan may have known it first, but you, my DB, have definitely shaken our world.
Reader Comments (21)
amy! your words and your pictures, are just beautiful.
happy, happy day to you and your special family.
oh, my, amy. i've got a 7 year old's birthday coming up... think you can pen something for me??? i love your words.
But you, Amy, have a way with words that I enjoy. You convey emotion and feeling poetically, but you don't ever overdo it. I really enjoy your posts. They intimidate me, a little, but I come back for more because I enjoy you equally as much.
Now, back to the post, what sweet sentiments about your son. I hope he has a very Happy Birthday. What a connection.