in sickness and in health
Monday, January 28, 2008 at 08:32PM Poor Jim.
I'm the lousiest nurse in the multiverse. I still remember the first time in our married life that he was sick. Rather than fetching drinks, rubbing his head, or making soup, I felt like strangling the man. An inexplicable (and unfounded) resentment tortured my soul (and his convalescence). This was pre-kids, and I honestly don't think I had ever waited on a sick someone in my entire life. I was not in the habit of waiting on a well someone either, if the truth be told ( royalty issues again..).
Well...the man soon put me to shame with my first bout of sickness. All help and love and sincerity. The difference was stark, and I was on the lacking end of the spectrum. By a long shot.
My bedside manners have improved with time (the instant softening that comes with motherhood definitely helps), but the miracle of selfish to selfless is far from insantaneous. Last week Jim pampered me back to health. This week it's my turn. Some day - perhaps - I'll be his equal in this.
It strikes me as interesting that we fall in love, get married, hardly tihinking of life's dirty details - the sickness, the bills, the throw up, the decisions that suddenly bear far more import than "china or stoneware?". A few years ago a long-time bachelor friend of mine was skitterishly contemplating marriage. My reassuring response was perhaps not so reassuring. "Yep, it's not all sex and cake." Then I gave my "but". Because in this case that "but" is colossal. There is no better refiner than family life. And there is no greater Joy than the kind that builds up with years of sacrifice and history and pain and subduing and Together.
I married a man who polishes my rough edges...and makes a damn good mug of TheraFlu.
Reader Comments (20)
I am the kind of person that likes to wait on people when they are sick. Call me weird, but I like playing nurse, as long as the nurse isn't cleaning up any sort of fluids. Yuck! Josh is the kind of person that does not need to be waited on. He likes to sleep and sleep and I think part of me is disappointed that he doesn't need me. I know I am strange in this line of thinking.
I especially liked the last line in your post!
Made all the more delightful by imagining you reassuring said skittish bachelor (I'm guessing I know who you mean.) in such a funny way. So so true though.
Beautiful thoughts on marriage.
You are my favorite author for sure. I love how you describe even the smallest details.
I know when I got married I was in it for the "sex and cake" I was foolish, but luckily I chose the right guy to be a fool with.
feeling like a high strung mom these days. if only a mug of Theraflu would help!
I think I'm okay dealing with sick people as long as I know they are actually sick. It is when they have those lingering things that hurt and they constantly complain that I have a hard time with patience!
Now, an unrelated but very important, comment. When will you be starting the recipe blog, because I think that is a great idea and I can't wait to use it!!!! :)
P.S. Isn't TheraFlu the best thing when you're feeling your worst?
Your writing once again takes me away from the computer screen and makes me feel that I am there, in your head, sitting there with a sick hubby. It is beautiful.
And there is no greater Joy than the kind that builds up with years of sacrifice and history and pain and subduing and Together.
How true that is.
my bedside manor can use perfecting, i will admit.
and thumbs up to theraflu.
love your writing style and i too would like an autographed copy of your book. i will even pay for it! :)
What can I say. Something is swimming around my head about Jim being a good catch,and then something about catching colds, but I can't quite get it down. Maybe because I'm all hopped up on Tylenol cold & flu right now myself.