to Davyn at 4
Tuesday, February 3, 2009 at 02:54PM 
You turned four this week. And I’m feeling it. For the past three days, I’ve been trying to maneuver some snuggle time to sit and look through your baby book together. But you’ll have none of it. Which tells me more than anything that my baby has turned full-fledged boy. So I busy myself in staving off bitterness. You do reject my advances gently, after all. With a simple “not now” (inferring later?) or “I’m busy, Mom”. “There’s a huge, wide, mom-less world to be explored”...well, that’s what your eyes say anyway.
And those bright eyes are very obviously widened by the breadth of that world. This has been the year of your awakening. For so, so long your universe was mom-centric. Now your imagination and hours are consumed in play. When Aidan is at school, your time is spent in the playroom, where worlds of figurines both human and animal come to life. The self-chatter is endless. And my ears do spy (much amused) occasionally.
Less amusing by far is your newfound favorite phrase...given in ready response to all information. "I know that", with the "know" drawn out lengthily in exasperated whine.
Well (though the gaps are bigger than what you’ll admit), I do have to admit that the category of what you know expands daily. You soak up knowledge like a sponge, with an already interest in writing and letters. Aidan swats you away daily as you hover over his homework-ing. You protest angrily in turn. I can hardly believe that you still have another year and a half before starting kindergarten. You seem so ready.
Over the past year we’ve made more effort to have both you & Aidan pray nightly as a family. And the evolution of your prayers has been interesting. In the beginning, this was the daily entreating: “Bless mom to be safe. Bless Aidan to be super safe. And bless dad to be super l-o-n-g safe.” I can still hear the cadence of your saying it; it makes me smile. You then went through a phase of blessing the food each night - full-bellied, p.j.-clad, kneeling by the bed. It drove Aidan crazy. But now you have turned to what I believe is at the core of D...your people love. You remember and think of those you love. And in that you remind me to think of the beauty in others.
So many times when my visiting teacher comes over or we leave the company of a friend, you’ll follow the parting with a “she was b-e-a-u-tiful.” At first this habit bothered me, seeming to detract from the words that were once reserved for me alone. But now I realize that there’s plenty of sincere love in your little self – far more than enough to go around.
I feel blessed & blessed & blessed to be your mother. 
Your life delight delights me in turn. And I suppose I can be content in knowing – as you wander further into a wider world – that I might not be your last love, but I'll always be your first.
Reader Comments (18)
And Cyn's comment made me sniff a little.
I think someday it will be a wonderful thing for this boy to know that he was loved this much.
That football cake was fabulous! As were the football player cookies.