my new Sunbeam

This afternoon I was reading a cousin's blog that started with this sentence:  "I cannot believe my baby is a Sunbeam".  And it hit me that mine is now, too.  And it seemed sort of shameful that this occasion, which was so momentous with child #1, passed without a thought or a photograph for child #2.

Perhaps it's partially because he is three weeks from turning four, has written the alphabet since summer, and is well on his way to knowing all of the phonograms A has been learning in Kindergarten.  Davyn hasn't seemed Nursery for a long time.

Still...guilt seeped into my mom heart.  Skipping a milestone can't be good.  And, as Aidan came in for the thirty-third time (of that hour) asking (demanding?!) attention, I realized D had disappeared hours ago.  So I quested out my #2.  Who was in his bedroom playing legos.  One peek into the room revealed all.  The boy was completely immersed in his own universe.  I wanted to capture his quiet..his concentration..his independence, so I snuck back out for my camera.  Which somewhat broke the spell.

But, still, a realization came.  My Davyn (Nova, DB, D James, child #2) doesn't need the same acclaim or attention that fuels Aidan so completely. There never was an issue in going to Nursery.  Of course there would be no issue in moving onward to Sunbeams.  Of course he'd sit quiet & still in Primary.  The boy is a blender.

And I have to laugh because with his background nature comes background listening skills.  He still looks at me in confusion and turns the other direction when I ask him to take something to the laundry room or pantry (yes, the boy who can do a 100 piece puzzle solo). And for the past two weeks he has come home from church touting some interesting doctrine.  Product of half-listening, no doubt.  Last Sunday when I asked what he learned, this was the answer:  "After we die, we go live with Jesus, then we get to be babies all over again."  Aidan quickly tried to straighten him out.  D stuck to his story.  "No.  We get to be babies after we die."  I tried to straighten him out.  Ditto {with heightened anxiety}.  I tried again.  Tears.  Jim was the smart one.  He remained silent. 

Davyn will learn it all eventually.  Quietly and in his own way.  Because that's his style.

My style demands a moment of near-to-tears silence.  Others gave up the nickname long ago, but I do have to let go for good now.  I definitely don't have a "baby D" anymore. 

Comments

[Nina]

Amy I wish I had your way with words.... I love your tenderness as you grow into motherhood each event you share with tender words... Thanks for your example and your way with words!

[Kay]

It does give me a lump in the throat to give up baby D. Like you, I've seen it coming, but didn't want to totally face that truth. He does seem far beyond a starting Sunbeam. I dread the day when he is too big to give those awesome gramma hugs. I live for those!

[Jill]

This is such a great post! What a blessing for your boys to have an intuitive mother who knows them so well and appreciates their differences, the way they learn and their sweetness.

[Kelly]

I was startled to see this because I never imagined that D and PQ were starting Sunbeams together. Davyn just seems way older. Weird! He's the cutest boy, and I don't think Kay needs to worry. D doesn't seem like the kind of boy who will ever grow out of giving awesome grandma hugs.

[April]

I'm not sure there is any kind of balm for a mother's heart when her baby is growing up. Just the other day I burst into tears because David made some comment about Ethan wearing "high waters." They were the last of his "toddler" sized pants. I bought two pairs of "5 Regular" and died a little.

[Mandi]

So sweet and I'm sad to not be able to see him in Primary! I love his messed-up doctrine -- at FHE the other night, London asked that question (if we come back again) and now I'm thinking maybe she heard something from D. Well, he's definitely not a baby anymore, but I say they're always your babies, no matter how big they get! And he definitely hasn't lost his baby-snuggling so that's a plus!

[Shanon]

I'm glad that he just blended in. Jake of course was the only sunbeam out of 20 to cry. It was a proud moment. NOT! I wish he were a year older like D is!

[Tiffany]

I always love the way you focus on each one of your boys and point out their special and unique ways they are *them*. Such lucky boys and a lucky family!

[Brynn]

This post makes me feel horrible. I forgot to post about my #1 becoming a sunbeam. Well, I better take care of that. Thanks for the reminder!

[Barb]

I say hang on to 'Baby D'. I know a man who is 65 years old and all his close family and friends STILL call him Babe.

[Emily]

Emma came home a couple weeks ago from Primary and informed me that when we die we are going to be babies again too. So, I'm thinking the lesson manual may need a little rewrite on that lesson!

[michelle]

Do not underestimate the value of a child who can easily blend in to new situations -- I wish I had one of those! And one who would disappear for hours entertaining herself...

[Megan]

I can't believe how big he is, I still think of him as Baby D, mainly because I haven't seen him in almost two years, a boy can change a lot in that time! And I love his little crooked teeth, it reminds me of my Collin.

[carlo]

love the close up shots. how do you do that w/o making them blurry?

love your words and your phototog skills!