and so it begins

I remember the first time I dropped Aidan off at Nursery when he was 18-months-old.  It felt surreal.  My boy, my shadow, my firstborn, my child was going to have conversations, relationships, laughter, pain in which I had no part. 

Well, this morning a similar flood of emotions overtook me when we met his Kindergarten teacher.  I surveyed the room, craning to take in the maps, posters, books, blackboard that will come to fill his days...hoping desperately that he'll come home spilling stories and details.  Because I want to know who sits next to him, what he laughs at, what makes him sad, what makes him sigh.  Forever. 

Of course I won't.  We can't always own each other entirely.  But, still..

He sat at his desk today with surprising ease.  Surprising because last week's school shopping was witness to all too many worries ( "Can't I wait one more year?"). 

Luckily, his dad has a knack for assuaging trauma in us half-Hendrix humans.  I caught them mid-chat this morning.  And saw Jim's soothing words take effect.  He always tells his boys that they are powerful.  And it's true.  Tonight he gave each of them their first father's blessing.  Tonight is also the five year anniversary of our temple sealing.  I've never felt more grateful to be a part of this family..to be surrounded by these men..to have them now & Always. 

Even if the first bits of earthly separation start with Mrs. Cammack's a.m. Kindergarten tomorrow.

Comments

[Tiffany]

School already? Me--I'm thinking early August--but really 5 years seems to come too fast!

"assuaging trauma in us half-Hendrix humans"...so glad you all have a Jim. :)

[Aprilyn]

We have lots and lots of trauma here too. Nathan needs to be reminded over and over that he is going to be just fine.

P.S. We tried your recipe for Sweet Roast Pork Tacos. I was nervous trying it because I'm not good at new things but it was SOOOOOOO good!!! Even Nathan liked it (after complaining about how he hates pork and could he please have Chicken Nuggets instead). Brian loved it too and we had it 2 nights in a row!! YUMMY! I can't wait to try more of your recipes.

[Nina]

Amy your words amaze me what a gift you have... I am in tears at work, I so enjoy reading your love of your family and of your sweet husband... Your tenderness is contagious.. I hope today was a great day for Aidan and I am sure he will love school... I wonder if he will be like you and embrace every opportunity that comes his way... Love you!

[Neighbor Jane Payne]

Amy, you just have such a way of putting the right punch in each sentence. I love the way this all tied together ("even if Mrs. C.'s class seperates us temporarily") and the reference to "us half-Hendrix humans" explains exactly how I've felt sometimes. Thanks for the uplift.

[Paula]

Girl it does get easier. My oldest is getting his driving permit this week. YIKES!!! But on a lighter note, he does still share with me everything that is going on in his life. Aren't we lucky to have our men to keep us grounded. Best Wishes.

[Emily]

Ugh. In a few weeks I'll take my second to Kindergarten and somehow I don't see it being any easier than the first. In fact I'm guessing with the extra hormones I've got going on that it will be even harder to hold the flood gates!

[Mandi]

I'm just glad Aidan was there with Savannah today, even if they were far away, at least they're still in the same class.

[Michelle M.]

He sure looks cute sitting there. It was a hard day for me today, with Sarah starting High School. We need to get together now that school has started. :)

[Price Cream Parlor]

He sure is darling sitting at his desk! I don't know if it gets any easier with each school year. Kindergarten seems to creep up so quickly! I love how they have been taught that they are powerful! What a wonderful gift to remind them daily of who they are and what they can become!
Thank you so much for helping Kelly today! It is reassuring for me to know that she is loved by many to make this transistion easier for her!

[michelle]

Beautiful thoughts here, Amy. So well-said. I hope he keeps sharing all the details with you!

[Megan]

That first day is always so hard. I hope he had a great time, and enjoys school, they learn so much.

[kim sue]

{{heavy sigh}} Carly starts on Monday....3rd grade. Each year seems tough because of different reasons. But I KNOW that she will be fine (and I will too)!

[Shanon]

I hope the first day went well. He looks so cute and old in his little desk!

[Katie A.]

I'm so excited for him--I hope his first day (and the rest of the days) go well! Sending you a big hug, because I'm sure the first day does not go quite so well for mothers.

I was so excited to get caught up on your summer adventures, but of course my computer is not willing to let most of the pictures load right now. You described a good time...I'll check back later for the visuals!

[Mandy]

He looks so proud sitting at his desk! What a cutie!

[Jaime]

WOW, it's that time already! I can't believe it. He looks SOOO ready!!

Love your pics from the 24th. With the rain later and the MUD, I didn't dare come out of the cabin. Cleaning after my kids was about all I could take!

[Emily]

Hey Amy,

For some reason my email doesn't like your email today. I've tried twice and they keep coming back to me. Anyway, I just posted a yummy grilled mushroom recipe on my blog if you want to steal it for BLD. I hope our emails can work out their issues soon and be friends again!

[jenny c.]

Does this mean you have just morning kinder in your area? I too am grateful for the powerful words that Doug gives our children. I hope his first week is going okay :)

[April]

I loved the part about Jim telling your boys that they are powerful. You are a lucky girl.

I thought your title was so perfect...I try hard not to think about what the "it" actually is...the beginning of loss, you know?

Squarespace is still giving me fits, but switching formats to V5 helped some. They have some helpful videos in the help section...good luck!

[Katie A.]

I'm in suspense and can't stand it!!! How is school going? For both of you?

[Jill]

This is so sweet! I love your perspective on this new milestone in Aiden's life.