spt: new you resolution
Tuesday, January 8, 2008 at 11:51PM 
I have a royalty complex.
People who don't know me well may shake their heads in disbelief. And those who do know me will nod in amusement. Jim...well, I fully expect him to grin in "finally, she admits it in writing!"
And, no, this doesn't mean I crave bows & curtsies, ultimate power, or even untold riches. It has more to do with a strong tendency to completely ignore the ugly details of every day.
"Laundry? Bills? Yes, yes, I'm sure there are people who take care of that sort of thing."
***
I pretty much lived a charmed life growing up. That's not to say it wasn't just as ordinary or painful as anyone else's...I just happened to have an ample capacity for living more in my head than in reality. Add to this equation parents who granted me the luxury of worrying more about books than life's gruesome details. And the fact that I was regularly in the barely breathing throes of asthma. That meant the chores required of me were night*and*day different than what my other siblings did (some of Megan's ditch digging lore leaves me positively dumbfounded).
Yet, I eagerly left home at 18 to greet the real world. At BYU (ha!). On a full-ride scholarship (ha!). With all my best friends from high school (ha!). Okay, so that may not have been a fair representation of the "real world", but I loved my college days. And dwelt happily in a continued state of unrealistic being.
Then moved to D.C. First I went for Washington Seminar, but fell so in love with the city and a boy in the city that I had to return after the semester. Never mind that I had $0, no place to live, no job. Tiny details..ultimately unworthy of my notice. A week before my one-way return home for Christmas, I met a crazily kind stranger on the Metro who gave me an airline ticket. The next day I met a girl in search of a roommate. And the job? Well, I'd worry about that later.
And that was how I lived year upon single year.
***
Now I look back (with my "finally gained" real life knowledge) in awe at all the blinders I wore. Nothing in my 28 pre-marriage years prepared me for the fact that life is flooded with menial, ugly details that real adults simply can't ignore. This is still my biggest struggle. And Royal Amy fights it fully - offended by socks to be folded, buttons to be sewn, insurance companies to be nagged, bills to be paid, closets to be organized, toilets to be scrubbed...and oh how the list goes on. The fight is obviously futile. And as time goes by, guilt is heaped upon the weight of the tasks...making the burden doubly loathsome.
This is where I am at in the dawn of 2008. Ready to stop fighting and start accepting (if not yet embracing) the fact that at least 75% of an adult's time is spent doing things they don't want to do. I haven't fully decided on a single word to describe my attitude change for the year (suggestions welcome!), but I have started working on it. It sounds ridiculous - especially as I write it - but I simply decided to spend my mornings doing things I 100% don't want to do. Whatever is dismissed from my mind most readily becomes my automatic project. And, surprisingly, I find myself deep into despised tasks well into the afternoon as well. Not surprisingly, this feels fantastic.
I'm not saying that I'll be perfect in executing my plans all year, but I hope I continue in that direction because the impact it has made in a mere week has been profound. I've resolved my lingering insurance issues from Aidan's stitches (in May!), am getting shots for my boys tomorrow morning (over two years behind!), ordered birth certificates online (never bothered to take care of that before!), de-cluttered my kitchen drawers, shaved my legs (after 2 months of wearing knee-high boots to church!), re-organized the boys' toys. Yes, I fully realize these aren't tasks anyone should feel *proud* of...they're simply the everyday what's expected, but I do wear a bit of royal smug in their wake.
I'm on my way!
SPT
Reader Comments (28)
Truthfully I often have the opposite problem...I grew up with the rule that you can play after your work is done. Well, the work is never done as a wife and mother and homemaker and so I forget that life is meant to be enjoyed and played in and children need this especially. I admire your royalty complex and equally admire your foray into everyday peasant life...I hope you find that magic fairytale land of "balance" somewhere in the middle.
It's late...I grow maudlin. To bed.
oh, and you're cracking me up completely.
and...why am I not in bed?!
I really do love your photo and thoughts--all of these new year resolution blogging posts are so good for me to read. Maybe all that goodness will rub off on me...I'm feeling inspired!
I got so bad at paying the bills, that Erik took it over. That took away so much stress in my life, it was amazing. I highly recommend it ;)
I always enjoy reading your, Kelly's, April's, and Tiffany's comments on each other's blogs. You are all such kindred spirits.
I think many of us do actually feel proud about scheduling shots for the kids, resolving insurance woes, folding the socks, decluttering the drawers and so on because those things all pile upon us as stay-at-home moms, so each task accomplished is huge. I hope it all ends up being easier than you think. It reminds me that it's easier to just do it than to fret about not doing it.
I think it's such a hard balance. You could spend 100% of your time on things you don't want to do, and still not finish them. So (at least for me) I find it hard to balance the have to's and the want to's of life. Lately I've not been doing much of either, which is the worst of all worlds, I think. At least if it was one or the other you could say, "Ah, well, I've been having so much fun." or "Ah, well, I've gotten so much accomplished." I just sort of hopped off that teeter totter a while back, and now I feel like I'm climbing back on and trying not to fling myself back off by leaning too far one way or the other.
Good luck with your morning plan. It sounds like it is doing wonders!
This whole post made me miss you too too much.
Good luck in the real world!
I will be interested to see what your new word will be. Good luck with the tasks ahead! Personally, I stagger our shots for the littles - I think that it is wise! So, you are WISE to put off the shots this long....
Fabulous post.
you are absolutely fascinating. I must learn from you!
love the resurrection of the photo header - the royal family, as it were...
Abdicate
87% of dislike -IF you wear that golden crown while
doing your tasks!! (even going to the pediatrician)HA
After reading this post, it seems we have more than just a first name in common. I totally relate to the "royalty complex". Maybe finally admitting it will help me overcome it. Sounds like you're well on your way - good luck :-) Thanks for the nudge in the right direction.
i loved reading this post.