mothering thoughts

I let my kids eat candy all day today.  I know, I know.  Good mothers hide, throw away, divert with apple slices and cheese sticks. 

Then…

This evening, Aidan hit me with a “guess what I learned at school today?”  I’m usually prying lucklessly for this info, so my anxious, wide-eyed “what?” came quickly.  The revelation:  “People should take baths every day.”  And my boy was incredulous…wondering why this blessed mystery of frequent bathing was far from the reality of his home.   

Yes, I know.  Good mothers don’t forget baths, spare clothes, sunscreen, lunch (yes, lunch).  And they probably wash their own hair daily…not to mention taking off make-up at night rather than smudging it on pillowcases that are definitely not washed weekly. 

Yes, I know.  Each home has its flaws, its dirty corners. 

But thinking on my mothering mishaps, this occurred to me:  My children will inevitably grow up.  And with that the concrete reality of what they take for granted in this home with this mother will be rocked.  And I’ll be revealed.  Stripped of the Super (a bias of innocence & youth) “My Mom” status.  Traded in for merely human.  Which is fine.  If I manage to mingle a good deal of Mercy into all I teach them in this captive time. 

No doubt I’ll need it later.

Comments

[shawna b.]

Amy, I love this post - these thoughts that I have had so often myself. Yep, one day they are going to figure it out, they'll be on to me - I'm just a regular Joe. But then maybe,when they get to be parents themselves, they'll realize what a tough job this parenting is and then, perhaps, if the stars align, I might enjoy elevated status once again! I am hoping that if they KNOW, every single day, that I love them to pieces, that will make up for all my "dirty corners."

I best be teaching my boys about mercy, too.
I KNOW I'm going to need it!

[Tiffany]

Lovely thoughts, Amy. It makes me laugh when one of my kids say that I look beautiful--on one hand I think "oh, I know better" but on the other hand it is nice to be loved purely without all the layers of the world clouding their vision.

[April]

Ah...I can tell you are the mother of small children...mine have already "found me out." Wait until they are nine and look at you with absolute incredulity and disappointment because they still have no clean socks to wear.

As for the candy...my thought is that it's better to just eat it all at once and get it over with. It's over in three days...it takes another two days for all that sugar to run through their systems and by Monday morning things are back to normal...a big bowl of sugared cereal and off to school.

[lelly]

daily baths?? daily makeup removal?? did i miss reading these pages in the mom manual?

thanks for keeping it all real for us other moms. have a great weekend!!

[megan]

I love this post! It makes me laugh because I know how easy it is to forget those little things, like meals. Yesterday as chad was taking Tal to school he called me and asked, "did tal have lunch today?" oops! "did tal have breakfast?" He had 3 lollipops and a glass of SOY milk.... so YES!
I forgot breakfast and lunch.... We won't even get in to the bath thing!
you are a fabulous mom who knows that your children won't remember if you washed your hair

[Marie]

My kids don't get baths everyday. I don't take my make-up off at night. We all survive somehow. What I want my children to remember is that they are loved and feel happy. That, to me, is being a good mother.

[Nina]

I was obsessive about a bath every night-Cyndee can attest to that.. In the end I now know it did NOT matter if they had a bath or not just that they felt loved and safe. I know you are a GREAT mom and even still I do NOT take off my make-up ever.....

[Megan]

I seriously think that too, it's horrid when you give your child a bath in the middle of the week and they are terribly confused because tomorrow isn't Sunday, why are they having a bath? I wish I could be better at that mom stuff too. I wish I could wash my face more frequently also. These are thoughts I've had, and what will they think when they grow up and start seeing reality? Scary thoughts.

[Katie]

I only have to play mom a few months out of the year when my husband's boys stay with us, but I hear ya! We got a large pool this summer, so "do they need a bath tonight?" "Nah...they were in the pool all day, how dirty could they be?"

[Kelly]

I love this!

And, I can completely relate to April's clean socks lament.

Lately, I'm getting a lot of long stares, with a little shake of the head, followed by a resigned, "You are pretty weird, Mom." Yes. Indeed.

[carlo]

oh to be found out...i think cassie is on to me (10 yrs old) but ellie is still in awe... :)

hugs to you friend. we are all i this together...

[jenny c.]

I am one of those obsessed mother's about baths--but on occasion I have let those slide as well. I'll spare you on my mothering weaknesses. It's funny what they pick up at school. I am so guilty of the candy, and we have two dentists in the family. Ooops!

[Annalisa]

I am laughing because I remember that same revelation coming to me in first grade and my mom is a clean freak. Sometimes I strip Alexis down for a bath in the middle of the day because it has been several days of something every night where we come home late, asleep in the car, and no bath. Daily baths are hard for everyone. You stand in good company.
And I NEVER take off my makeup at night. Granted I don't wear much so my pillowcases stay clean, but seriously what wasted effort. Particularly when I stay up so late I don't want to disturb my husband when I crawl into bed with little more than a quick brush-flossing is for special occasions :).
Luckily I have a girl who can't stomach too much candy, but I wouldn't hide it from her if she could. I know plenty of parents that let their kids eat it all up in one day and be done with it. Maybe when she catches on to the fact that her dad will eat half of it if she waits she'll start hoarding. But if you've ever attended elementary school in the days after Halloween, you'll know you're in good company there too.
For as particular I am about cleanliness and neatness, sometimes I look at my disaster of a house and I am appalled. I used to be clean, but cleaning up after 2 people who don't clean up after themselves gets old and I dwindle in conviction at times. And I only wish that were the vice I would need mercy for in later years. It will be my snapping, impatience, shouting, and minor swearing I will be judged for in later years.

[Michelle]

I too love this post. What would it be like if we did live in a pefect world! We would all go into shock, maybe? I sure know my kiddos would. it is 7:09 P.M. My famillia just asked what was for dinner. My answer was, nothing that I am cooking. At least they laughed about it, but I was serious! :)

[Barb]

Yes, I think that the long term mothering plan has to include many lessons on mercy.