how much is enough?

When it comes to sleep, I don't think any answer suffices.  I slept a record full 12 hours last night.  This doesn't happen.  Jim has a stay-up-all-night disease and I have a want-to-go-to-bed-together issue, so I typically end up dragging my body into bed well beyond its ready state.  Then I'm grumpy and blame him, which makes absolute sense to a sleep-deprived mind. 

Sometimes I do go to bed alone early (or early in comparison to his beyond midnight).  When he shows up hours later ready to talk, cuddle, whatever, I turn demonic.  I seldom remember these heavy-lidded rants, but in the morning he shares.  I grimace and nod because, although memory is fogged by dreams, I know my evil side well enough to know that it's all too true.

Last night Jim miraculously didn't feel well, so I happily went down with him at 8:30.  Yes, I exult in his illness because it brings me extra hours of beloved sleeping delight by his side.  I'm not nice.  Or perhaps it's just that I honestly can't function without sleep.  There are those who get this and those who don't.  It's not a choice thing, as in - I choose sleep over Jim.  It's simply I can't choose Jim unless I have chosen sleep first.

"That we are not much sicker and much madder than we are is due exclusively to that most blessed and blessing of all natural graces, sleep."  Aldous Huxley. 

I get that, Aldous.  Now I just have to convince my Jim.  

Comments

[code red]

The dignity of the artist lies in his duty of keeping awake the sense of wonder in the world. In this long vigil he often has to vary his methods of stimulation; but in this long vigil he is also himself striving against a continual tendency to sleep.
Marc Chagall

[code red]

The dignity of the artist lies in his duty of keeping awake the sense of wonder in the world. In this long vigil he often has to vary his methods of stimulation; but in this long vigil he is also himself striving against a continual tendency to sleep.
Marc Chagall

[Kelly]

You guys crack me up!

I'm with you Amy -- I need sleep to function and be a decent human being. I have a friend who gets 4 hours of sleep every night, and she is busy and happy and good. I would be a homicidal zombie. Occasionally, I will fall asleep on the couch, and when the hubs wakes me up to go to bed I am very mean to him and don't remember it in the morning. Sleep is good!

[Mandy]

I can usually function on little sleep although I noticed as I get older that I sometimes need a nap. Josh, on the other hand, cannot function without sleep. He literally gets sick the next day. He sleeps very very hard and I sleep very soft. How do we get along? :)

[Annalisa]

There is a psychology theory with the 6 degrees of needs. Your basic needs (sleep, eat) must be met in order to move on to the next hierachy (empathy).
It is not you but Jim who is demonic in those late night hours when he wakes you to talk. Doesn't he know how important your REM sleep is!
I used to need Brett to go to sleep with me, but then I realized I hate him at night. I will not go to bed until he is asleep. When he stays up late I have to as well because either he wakes me with his noisiness and I can't get back to sleep or I lie in bed for hours boiling with anger by the minute as he thrashes our bed.
So I blame him for my insomnia (not that he takes the blame). Sleep is essential and anyone who messes with someone else's sleeping patterns should be beaten, or at least have to deal with the evil rants that insue :).

[Amy]

Amen, Annalisa.

[Kelly]

Annalisa, I burst into laughter when I read this, "But then I realized I hate him at night." So funny!

I am not a cuddler. I hate to have anyone touching me when I'm sleeping. A few years ago I convinced the hubs to get a king sized bed. I am a much happier person. He feels like I sleep in another time zone, but oh well. The sleep is worth it.

[Ras]

I have a very similar disease, Amy. Justin gets so annoyed at night when I repeatedly call out from the bedroom "Are you ready to come to bed yet?" Why I feel I can't sleep unless his person is next to mine is beyond me. And he gets up hours (yes, literally hours) before my 6:30 alarm. How can he be sane on that little sleep when I need much, much more? He always teases me with "Just wait until you have a baby to deal with at night." And I wonder why it's just going to be MY baby at night. (And no, that's not an announcement yet.)

[JoDee]

Talking about no sleep, me and Megan want to enjoy every minute of our time together so we have stayed up until one or two o'clock in the morning since she has been in town. At this point we are sometimes a little beastly, but always ready for the party. I also have a husband who has insomnia and it drives me crazy! Now, after 13 years of marriage and fighting that, I now find I go to sleep better with out him. Now that is true love.

[Annalisa]

I often tell my husband a king-size will save our marriage. When our basement is finished (in the next month or two), hopefully this mattress will go down there and I can sleep!

[Amy]

Ras, Justin will love your child enough to know that you aren't competent at mothering in the night. That's how it was with ours at least...Jim did nights or was up with me anyhow, because I lose all capacity for anything but anger.

JoDee, don't write about you & Megs having fun. It makes me jealous!

As for King size beds, I don't know how any marriage could survive without one. We even use separate blankets. He wraps up like a burrito & I can't stand that. I'm all about cuddling before bed, but then need freedom & space once we're sleeping.

Kel, you may not cuddle, but has Keith ever been introduced to your door dancing??! Now there's a make it or break it!

[Judy Naegle]

I'm laughing my head off at you girls and your sleeping dramas. How cute you all are. I guess we all find our rhythm in life, and it isn't a right or wrong... it is, as Shakespeare said in 12th Night, "For what is 'that' but 'that' and 'is' but 'is'? In other words, "It is what it is." Just be sure you all do your best to get enough sleep. It's the only time our hearts and our minds get to rest... Amy, I love hearing about the boys...you'll be so glad you kept a record....love and peace

[Kelly]

I can't share my door dancing with him. It's too personal. Ha! He would be alarmed!