regrets & Remembering

I don't have many regrets in life, but there are a definite few.

Like the time I was coerced into asking an ASU boy to my senior year Christmas formal.  The Regret:  In my ultimate discomfort of awkward angst, I treated the poor guy as less than human for the entire evening.

Or the time I wore a dress.  And walked over an air vent that revealed my legs and unimagineables to everyone who happened to be in between classes on that fine day in front of BYU's Kimball Tower.

Or the time I saw a whole herd (seriously, what's the official term here?) of Harley's picnicking at a park in Prescott, Arizona.  I hardly remember why I was there, but I do remember having an extraordinary urge to walk into their midst and see if anyone would give me a quick ride.  And I nearly acted on the inclination.  Shouldn't riding on the back of a Harley be on any good bucket list? 

Well, that regret was resurrected to my mind on our weekend trip when I saw this.  I was hoping to come in for a close-up, but the traffic stars did not align.  But, seriously.  The man had horns on his bike helmet. 

And I definitely thought...If I were a biker chic, I just might want horns, too.  Wouldn't you?!

Every Memorial Day weekend the Scotts head to Luna to visit and clean graves at the little cemetery on the hill.  It is where Jim's brother Jayson is buried.  And I really can't think of a more lovely and peaceful resting spot. 

Aidan raked.  Aggressively.  Until T stepped in with a gentler hand.

Davyn trailed the grandmas and Tasha, placing new flowers around headstones.

 

...and hopped on a horse for the first time ever.  Seeing the lack of saddle and gear, I think he was a little nervous.  When Michael asked if he wanted to get on, D's wary query was, "is it Wild?".  Indeed it was not.  But he was still anxious to get back off.  Aidan, on the other hand, wanted to ride down the road.  I can't imagine feeling secure hopping on a horse bareback style.

My biggest regret of the weekend was asthma.  And the current state of my organizational skills. In the helter skelter scurry of getting packed up for our weekend in Luna, I forgot my breathing machine and inhaler. So our trip had to be cut short when lungs got tight and breathing became labored on Sunday afternoon. Staying with the chance of a full-on attack simply wasn't worth the risk to me.

My poor little guys were heartbroken. Aidan sobbed when Jim started packing up a day early. "I...I...I just want to stay in Luna....forever." In our own beds on Monday morning. D asked me where he was going to grow up. "Um...here, with me, in Queen Creek," was my uncertain reply.  To which he said, "Oh. I just wish I could grow up in Luna."  I love that they love our yearly trips, their grandmparents, their cousins, the forest.  These are days they will always Remember..ones that will forever be curtained in the shimmery magic of childhood as they look back over the years.   

my oh my.

Jim is flat-out scared.  I'm simply stunned...and disbelieving.  Why? you might well ask.  Last Tuesday's doctor's visit and ultrasound revealed that this child in my womb is indeed and without doubt a girl. 

Can YOU believe it?!

Will she mesh with this?!

 

compliments from a 4-year-old

Our Saturday conversation started out nice.  Of course, if you know Davyn, you know that he doles out compliments very freely.

D:  Mom, you're pretty. 

Well, as generic as the line was for this little guy, I wish he had stopped there.

But, he didn't.

D:  You're pretty like a hippo!

Me:  Because I'm big and chunky?  (19 weeks pregnant and I'm really wishing my belly looked pregnant rather than my entire body just being thick)

D:  Nooo.  You're not pretty like a hippo.  You're pretty like a monkey!

Me:  Monkeys are hairy.

D:  I know.  You are pretty.  And you are hairy.  Pretty and hairy (repeated 5ish times).

Me (worried):  I'm not that hairy.

D (confused): Did you shave?!

Needless to say, both the legs and arms got some good attention after that. 

the Good stuff

Some *good stuff* has happened over the past two weeks.  Unfortunately, most of it has been robbed of its proper limelight since I've been down sick for about that long.  My second sinus infection of this spring is gratefully coming to an end (fingers crossed).  Today the doctor will hopefully confirm that my chest is clear even though my voice still sounds horrid (and my nighttime breathing is decidedly darth vader-ish).

The biggest news of our last week came on Friday.  All Scott's were anxiously awaiting the mail on Thursday, but general patience was tested and Friday was the day when T's mission call did arrive.  We quizzed our little family on Friday morning with the typical "where do you think T's going?"  I voted somewhere South America, Jim claimed the Philippines, and Aidan's answer was "Tucson". 

Well, one of us was right.

{and I'm sure T is grateful it wasn't Aidan!}         

His call was to the Philippines.

T hugging Kay

I've loved feeling the spirit and energy and excitement of anticipating this huge event in T's life.  He is the last of the Scott boys to serve...until 13 years from now, when it will be my Scott boys who continue in this path.  When T was ordained an Elder last month, Kay said something about how Jim's ordination and mission were still so recent in her mind.  There are 16 years between Jim and T...only 13 between my Aidan and T.  I know it comes more quickly than we ever anticipate.

I love that my boys are surrounded by the examples of so many honorable priesthood holders...a group of good men who they anxiously want to join.  T's ordination was a profound event for us.  We, of course, were excited to be with him for the experience, but I had no idea that it would affect my own small family so deeply.  The spirit was there {and strongy}, and Aidan recognized and remembers the feeling of powerful love that was present.  He has since asked dozens of questions about the priesthood.  Davyn has since watched the Sacrament be passed with new eyes and questions of "when is it my turn?"  Many, many teaching moments have resulted. 

I'm grateful for your example to my boys, T, and it will be amazing to watch your influence move so beyond our small sphere as you serve your mission!

***

In other news...I saw this morning that Mandi posted about our Joy School graduation, and I felt a twinge for not posting about it yet myself.  It has been a very fun year for Mr. Davyn James.  And myself.  And all of these cute littles.  

Davyn's voracious desire to learn has taken me by surprise.  He loves to sit and watch Aidan do homework and eats up any info available.   At times it wears on my [limited!] patience.  Like yesterday when he wanted me to spell the names of every.single.legobatman.character.  At least three times each (and remember that my voice was decidedly, toadishly, sickfully croaky at that point).  It'll be the ultimate parent/child irony when this summer is spent with me pleading for him to go play or watch t.v. as he pleads with me to practice letters or add numbers.  Perhaps I can pay Aidan to tutor??!

***

and one last picture...

a few weekends back was our ward's fathers & sons campout.  Cyn and I drove up to the boys' campspot on Saturday afternoon and we spent another night there with them.  It was restful and lovely.  This was the only picture I snapped, but it cracked me up.  Cyn is on napping on a tiny couch in our toyhauler.  But Davyn didn't hesitate to cabbage in on her space. 

possible topics...

Life is definitely plodding forward at a rapid pace...calendar days morph into weeks and suddenly May is at the gates.  I feel like I should write something to commemorate my lately because, though my blog has been quiet, my life has been full.  

possible blog topics:

(with a warning that this isn't pretty, but I'm throwing it all out there anyhow!)

• How I crumpled Aidan's homework in complete frustration yesterday (and was ashamed but still more proud that I had managed not to crumple him instead).
• How I flaked on my neighbor when she hired me two months ago to make fancy cupcakes for a baby shower. I was working on them all week, thinking the shower was Saturday. Friday night I came home late from dinner with my mom and sisters to a street lined with cars. Laughter and light emanated from the neighbor's home and my stomach sank - hard. It sounded - strangely, eerily- like a shower. A baby shower without fancy cupcakes, to be precise. I ran upstairs and submitted to the torrent of tears that came when I looked at my original calendar that put the baby shower on - indeed - a Friday.
• How Jim is a saint. Who does not complain about the state of our union. Even when he wears dirty-ish pants for days-ish because I'm a laundry failure.
• How it took me four and a half hours to make soup and bread yesterday.  Or how I inadvertently made enough to feed 6 families.  Or how I'm quitting my kitchen because everything takes twice as long as it should and only tastes half as good.
• How my eyebrows are a bushy disaster.  I seriously haven't paid them any attention for weeks.  And it only crossed my mind as I was rushing out the door last week to meet Lucy (who turned out to be far more of an old friend than complete stranger - even at first meeting). 
• How Aidan said a prayer a few nights back blessing the world so that there would be no litter...or bad people.  [How I think really "bad people" must crumple their children's homework into litter.]
• How Davyn has become my co-dependent, doling kisses and "beautiful mama"'s in a wildly profligate manner.  I even awoke (at 1 am!) one morning to him standing beside my bed kissing up & down my captured arm.  The baby is still in our seemingly far future, so should I dismiss this as a phase or understand it as a possible plea to remain my tiniest joy forever? 

OR how reading over this list makes the past few weeks sound not so great, but life still manages to be good and worthwhile.  Despite.  Or perhaps Because.  It's all about those darn ups and downs.