{happy??} halloweening

Honestly, my mood yesterday precluded *happy* halloweening, thus the double question marks in the title.  I wasn't in a festive spirit.  We carved zero pumpkins.  Put up no decorations this month.  All energy has been consumed in doing what seems like a very crummy job of mothering three humans.  My boys are having adjustment issues I never anticipated...and my parenting efforts feel mediocre at best.  But that's a whole other post {or book?}.  How I Ruined my 4-Year-Old's Life with an Absurd Level of Impatience. 

BUT this too shall pass

SO, on to the good stuff...Cyndee & Megan hosted the Halloween festivities for all of the Hendrix cousins.  The whole dinner spread was quite lovely, but I particularly liked that Cyn hallowed out some pumpkins to house the salsa and dips. 

I knew I'd be having a baby sometime in October, so I asked my boys in early September to make their Halloween decisions.  Davyn's was easy. 

"I want to be a fire fighter for Halloween.  And for real life." 

We've known this intended career path for a good six months now.  And have learned to work it in our favors.  When he doesn't want to take something upstairs, professing that he's tired...I shake my head solemnly with a "that's too bad.  Fire fighters have to be really good at carrying heavy things up stairs."  When he'd rather watch tv than run around outside with A.  "Oh man...firefighters have to be able to run so fast." 

Yes, I should write a book on manipulative parenting. 

{And a sequel in 20 years about all of the negative side-effects. What I Didn't Know Then.}

Aidan's Halloween decision is more of a sad story.  Reminder:  the boy is 6.  His pragmatism makes me worry that he's losing his sense of wonder.  of magic.  of excitement.

I was fairly amused last month when I asked about costumes.  His response:  "I don't see why we need to buy anything new.  I'll just be batman because I have a batman suit already and I never wore it for any Halloween before."  No smiles.  No life.  All blandness in his tone. 

And then it got worse on Monday.  At Family Home Evening we were discussing plans for the upcoming week.  I mentioned the trunk-or-treat activity on Friday.  His response: "Let's not go to that.  It's not like we need more candy.  We always get way too much."  But don't you want to just go to have fun?  His response: shoulder shrug. 

Halloween malaise is notthe worst ailment in the world.  In fact, if one holiday had to be dropped, it would be right up there after St. Patrick's day (pinching??) on my list.   Still.  I don't want Aidan to be a grumpy old man. 

At six.

But all I have to do to allay that worry is see him running around with his cousins.  They play & play & play.  And he easily loses himself in that play.  Perfectly six. 

Cousin time has been less frequent lately, but it's something my boys relish.  One of the hardest events of my 2009 had to be when Mandi & her family moved away from the neighborhood.  We used to see them as part of our daily life.  Now it is much more rare.

Here are the cute Waller girlies in their Halloween costumes:

And one of the best events of my 2009 has been my sister Megan moving to the valley.  Renewing our acquaintance with these cousins has been a joy. 

Here are the cute Chambers boys in their Halloween costumes:

All month I've been saying..."next year I'll decorate".."next year we'll carve pumpkins".."next year I'll add homemade flair to their costumes."

But now I realize that "next year" I'll have a one-year-old. And a hundred more false starts to add to my parenting annals..after 365 more days of Up & Down. 

Megan and Cyndee both dressed up for the trick or treating last night.  One, a spooky witch.  One, a nice witch.  I know both ends of that spectrum quite well.  So perhaps the truth of "next year" will merely see me openly embracing my inner witch.  I haven't worn a costume on the outisde in years.  You'll just have to wait to see if I'm green or glittery.

Comments

[Marie]

Oh, I'm so sorry that you are having adjustment issues to deal with. So hard. But I am not at all concerned about the results of your parenting 20 years from now. Perhaps you should re-think your book titles. Something more along the lines of "How I knew my mother treasured my existance" seems appropriate.

Loved that the cape was flying in the bat man picture.

[michelle]

These pictures are just marvelous. I understand your woes -- Halloween and mothering -- I have those as well. In my experience, the sibling adjustments with a new baby didn't last all that long, hope the same is true for you as well.

[Neighbor Jane Payne]

You already know this Amy, but hang in there, kids have a remarkable ability to forget impatient moments....yea, even months.

Oh, I already know which witch is hiding in you . . . bewitched. You're amazing and can accomplish anything in a twinkle. Again. Hang in there. Just live through today and let tomorrow take care of itself.

[Kirstin]

Amy if you only knew how normal all your sentiments sound to me! There isn't a day that goes by that I don't say to myself, "I definitely could've handled that parenting moment better." Especially with a newborn I, too, have wondered at my ability to give her what she needs and still keep the other two feeling emotionally healthy--or at least not neglected. :) In order to keep myself from becoming totally depressed about it, I have had to completely re-frame my own expectations for myself. (Forget the supermom that I see in everyone else I meet--or think I see) and celebrate the fact that I spent the entire day in my pajamas and finally got a shower at 4 in the afternoon. I got a shower! Yahoo! You are probably beyond my own meager skills, but you get the idea. Take a deep breath. You are doing the best you can. :) If you want me to entertain your boys and give you a break I'd be more than happy. My kids love the park and always enjoy new companions to play with.

[Barb]

Who needs home-style halloween decorations with Cyndee around? Let her do it for you! (after all you are raising her gorgeous grandchildren)
I seriously need photography lessons from you. You captured everything beautifully.

[April]

I don't know about the witch, but you are certainly a wizard with that camera.

Ah, oldest children. They are too aware of EVERYTHING...I see my Caleb all the time making concessions that he thinks "I need." I have to ask him all the time, "yes, but what do YOU want?"

I always think the entire house takes about four months to adjust after a new baby. Is that encouraging or discouraging? Hang in there. Everything looks better with a full night's sleep...something you haven't seen in a good 2 or 3 months now.

And for the record, keeping three humans alive is no easy task. Love you!

[Kelly]

The pictures, oh, the pictures! I need camera lessons from you. I am dying over Caleb's little vial of "blood" -- so clever!

I am sorry that you are feeling adjustment woes. Azure is still a very new part of their world, and I'm sure they will work through their little kinks in no time. You are always harder on yourself than anyone else is, remember that. I miss you -- we've got germs running through our house again/still (not sure which). I feel like I'm neglecting you, but really I'm trying to keep germs at bay for you.

[Mandi]

I love all your pictures! It's like having a professional photographer at our Halloween party! I well remember the hard adjustment for the girls when Reag came along, but you're right, it will pass.

[Emily]

Oh Amy, you're so...NORMAL! Seriously I am so impressed that you even took pictures!

[Brady]

being a grown up and dressing up? never saw the point! so if you inner witch never comes out, i'll be fine with that! by the way the kids look great!

[Shanon]

I love this post!! I too decided that I am not a fan of Halloween this year. But St Patty's is my bday so it has to be fun! Your kids look cute in their costumes! What happened to the zebra?

[Vella]

I can't get over what an amazing photographer you are! Those pictures are so fabulous. The first couple months of new baby are so hard. Hang in there!

[janel]

Well I was a green witch this year :D On the inside. And I didn't even take pictures, thats how.....green I felt. Luckily they got their pictures done at the Trunk or treat. I remember vividly the adjustment having that 3rd baby. It was extremely tough! At least you know that so many of us have been right where you are and we all survived and love your candor!