the unexpected

Jim still refers to the day we discovered our first (surprise!) pregnancy (less than two months after marriage, mind you) as "the blackest day of my life."  And it honestly was.  The boy wasn't sure he wanted a child at all, much less in 9 months.  And, come to think of it, he had mentioned that before, but it hardly seemed plausible or possible.  So I had swept it tidily into my "he must be joking" file.  I laugh now at how blindly we enter marriage.   So much of the entrance love is crazily, hormonally biased...skewing reality completely.  I mean, how could he be serious? What kind of a man isn't sure he wants to have kids at all?  The reality that it was the man I starry-eye loved to the depths of my soul...the man who I was promised to for Ever...well, it quickly also became "the blackest day of my life." 

But my "what the hell have I gotten into?!" quickly became "how the hell did I get so lucky?" when parenthood arrived with our Aidan nine months later.  I was a ball of nerves.  Our newbie was a ball of needs.  And my Jim...well, he was nothing short of Amazing.  

The boy knew all along it was going to be more Messy than Dreamy.   

Jim & Aidan (2 weeks old) 

It was love at first sight for these two.  And - even through my assumptions that of course Jim wanted a house full of littles - I had never imagined how much love is Magnified in watching your Love soften to let in another.  A tiny other that you made together.

I also had never anticipated how much tutoring in motherhood would come from the *reluctant* father of my children.  He taught me patience and devotion and longsuffering and tenderness.  Things "skewed reality" (a.k.a. my dreamworld) hadn't prepared me for entirely.

Jim and Davyn (2 1/2 years old) 

I am grateful for the messy reality of parenting with you, my Love.  And for the blessing of discovering that your "Unexpected" is infinitely better than anything this dreamer could have thought up on her own. 

Happy Father's Day. 

Comments

[lelly]

happy father's day, Jim!! sweet thoughts, amy. i remember vividly realizing we were pregnant (two months after our wedding.) lots of mixed emotions, for sure...

[Shanon]

I like this post! Those are adorable pictures of Jim and the boys. We are glad you had your unexpecteds.

[Price Cream Parlor]

Sweet photos! Loved your wonderful tribute to the Father of your littles. Life is full of surprises for sure - Motherhood/Fatherhood is a welcomed surprise with unexpected vision. You are a wonder team for sure!

[Tiffany]

I'm thankful for your magnified and softened love (beautiful words!)... It does take two to make it all work--wonderful to be able to ballance and make up for each other...

[rachel]

I loved this post. I am shocked that Jim didn't want any kids when he seems to be such a natural father. Those pictures are priceless.

[Megan]

Jeez, that ALMOST got me teary eyed. So sweet, it's crazy to think Jim was thinking of not having kids, cause he's so good with his boys. Plus, it's so much fun to see miniatures of yourself run around, unless it's Tom watching Collin, and wondering to himself he was really THAT crazy.

[mandy]

I have a huge lump in my throat after reading this. It was so beautiful!

As cheesy as it sounds, I absolutely fell in love with Josh all over again the first time I saw him hold Ryley. He became infinitely more tough and gentle all at the same time.

[Marie]

I don't think Mandy sounds cheesy. She sounds accurate. I love Dirk more everytime I watch him in his role as father to our children.

A surprise pregnacy two months after the I Dos? Wow. Your lives sure changed in one calender year. From single adulthood to married parents? Phewf!

[April]

Love those picture of Jim and his boys.

I think two months after the wedding would be a shock to anyone. You two have handled the unexpected with aplomb, even through "the messy reality of parenting." Beautiful text as usual, Amy.

[Katie]

I just love the way you write. Beautiful post.

Your flower cake was beautiful. I don't think I could bring myself to cut into any of your creations. They are art. (I know what you mean about flowers not being in high demand...I long to buy girly, flowery scrapbook items, but just have no use for them)

[Jill]

You're so right about how blindly we enter into marriage! It's frightening really and I wonder how people who get married when they're older and used to living alone do it. I credit being young, broke and stupid for Randy and I lasting this long.

[Annalisa]

It's funny how life doesn't always turn out the way we plan, but it always gives us what we need.