to parent or not to parent

I’m wondering if I need to make a “shameful parenting” tag.

There has been a recent (and welcome) development in our home. Aidan is always the first to wake up, and in the past this meant an instant trip to my bedside where he’d either tell me to scoot over or demand breakfast. And I’m a morning dreamer. From 6-7 am it’s pretty much guaranteed that I’m in the throes of some fantastic plot. So, as much as I crazy love this child, it’s difficult for me to deal with 6:30 hunger pangs or conversation (because “scoot over” never means more sleep).

Well, for the past week or so, Aidan has become an independent a.m.-er. The boy wakes up and simply does his own thing. And shameful parenting ensues. Because I lie in bed, weighing the worth of sleep. I hear him rummage through a cupboard. Worth it. Something drops. Worth it. TV goes on. Worth it. The cozy keeps me through it all.

Sunday morning:

STRIKE 1:   Aidan quickly answers the door when there is a knock at 9:30. Boys do not answer doors without parents in my world. But I’m in no way presentable (and Jim is still sleeping soundly) so I stand at the top of the stairs, relieved when it’s our nice neighbor, embarrassed that our boys are obviously unsupervised, unwilling to intercede because I’m half-dressed.

STRIKE 2:   So I cringe. at the top of the stairs. through this conversation.

Neighbor: “We saw Davyn in the front yard earlier and just wanted to make sure that you guys were safe.”

Aidan: “Oh ya, we had some things to check out, but we’re good.”

Neighbor: “Where are your mom and dad?”

Aidan: “They’re sleeping.”

Neighbor (who I hope is not calling CPS right now): “Okay...well, close the door and stay inside when I leave.”

Kids outside (why didn't I hear that?!).  Not worth it.

STRIKE 3:   Okay I’m not sure if this is a poor parenting strike, but it definitely has the potential. And this one is a la Jim. I was studying my lesson upstairs and he was kindly taking care of breakfast. He has always been an inventive cook, but I laughed at his: “I warmed up a sugar cookie from the freezer, fried an egg and served it on top of the cookie”. Seriously? A fried egg on top of a microwaved sugar cookie.

So this morning when I got up late (because Aidan no longer comes to my bedside but was outside on the jungle gym practicing the all-important monkey bars.  Worth it. because it's Monday and I promsie to be better tomorrow)...I asked what they wanted for breakfast.

Yep, you guessed it. A unanimous “Eggs and cookie!”

I made eggs.  And toast. Then put a cookie on the side. We’ll babystep our way into this Monday morning.  And I'll babystep my way into regaining parental control of our a.m.'s.

Comments

[carlo]

shameful parenting tag-- now that made me laugh b/c certainly we would each have one (or a few) at some point

eggs and cookies...hmmm, i love a good sugar cookie and i like eggs but i can't imagine them together

i love that your neighbor came over-- speaks to your neighborhood.

[Kelly]

I'm having trouble imagining a sugar cookie topped with fried egg being a breakfast worth repeating. So funny!

Shameful parenting is something that befalls all of us from time to time. And though embarrassing, very sweet of your neighbor to be looking out for your boys.

[Neighbor Jane Payne]

Oh Amy, this had me chuckling the whole way through it. Every parent will recognize themselves in this one in one form or another. I sure did.

[Tiffany]

Don't you just love it that Aidan is learning to look out so well for himself? :) They are too funny.

Good luck with the cookie dilemma. (Sorry, but that makes me cringe.)

[Melissa]

My son wakes up too early for me too, but fortunately, if shamefully addicted to PBS Kids cartoons, so I can rest assured (I hope) that he is just laying on the couch downstairs watching "Bob the Builder." Heaven help me when he tires of that. As for your boys going outside, do you know about the delightful little "bracket lock" thingys that you can by at Home Depot that latch at the top of your door and lock the door? Amazing, but I guess if your boys are too tall with a chair and can unlatch it, it wouldn't work. Oh, yes, you can be assured we have them in our house on the front and garage doors!

[Mandi]

That cracks me up! I love that your neighbor told them to close the door behind them -- the same thing happened to me once (my drug-dealer neighbor though -- good thing drug dealers are nice people!)

[Jill]

My advice is to install some locks on the doors up out of their reach so you can keep sleeping without fear of them going outside. It's so great when they get independent enough to watch tv and and play on their own. I used to put little baggies of cereal out for the kids so I could sleep...is that so wrong?

[Marie]

I've been looking for a new thing to serve for breakfast. Thank goodness for Jim.

The neighbour incident would have been embarassing, but what a great community you live in that they came to check on the kids and make sure everything was alright. That is awesome.

[Shanon]

Cookies and eggs, I can't really picture it. What kind of cookie? That would so be my kids, escaping the out the front door. I had to put a lock way up high so they don't leave. Somehow they know if I forget to lock it. Jake is drawn to the street!

[Brynn]

I love your blog!

[Price Cream Parlor]

Your story telling keeps me going! I love it! I agree with the comments - who hasn't had these moments of parenting? What is amazing is that our littles survive us being their parents! HA! - I agree with Jill- a lock high on the door is key.
....I must give your Jim high marks for his creative cooking indeed! WOW!

[Annalisa]

Oh I haven't gotten up with Alexis when she wakes up too early for years. Sometimes I have to be very creative to get her to be independent, but that sleep time is worth it. It does make me feel a little guilty when she gets her own breakfast though. I love that Aidan rang the bell to get your attention :). He's a smart boy.

[michelle]

A shameful parenting tag. Yep, sign me up!

I cannot WAIT until Eva is old enough/independent enough to get up without requiring my presence!! I can totally see myself lying in bed checking off the "worth it" items as well. I can't wait.

[Katie A.]

While I can understand the embarassing, it is definitely nice that you have neighbors who watch out for you and your kids. Mike's kids do not wake us, and our bedrooms are on different floors. Usually, I end up waking to the sounds of them playing in the hallway. Last summer, I woke to the sounds of Dominic (the older) crying. I ran up to see what was wrong, and Alec (the younger) said, "He's just hungry." Oh, my goodness! Why didn't he wake me?? I surely qualified for the "shameful parenting" tag that day.

[kim sue]

I have made it to having a child who is independent enough not to wake me when she gets up. But for a couple of years we have had a "breakfast basket" that is ready for Saturday and Sunday mornings. Sometimes pre-made bought items and sometimes items I made but packaged for her to handle like muffins, dry cereal, poptarts. It has been a life saver. Now at 8 (a very grown up 8) she can use the microwave by herself but she usually chooses to have cereal which works for me. Over those couple of years, waking me on Saturday or Sunday morning required an emergency. What defines an emergency...come on say it with me....I am bleeding or the house is on fire.