I was having trouble commenting on Mandy's blog site, but her entry struck at my daily nerves.
Unfortunately, insecurity comes hand-in-hand with motherhood. When Aidan's demons arise, I see myself and wonder if I planted them in this tiny human bundle. When Davyn's language skills seem stalled, I cringe, knowing that when he was a baby I didn't spend the same amount of time reading with and talking to him as I did with A. At some point of nearly every day, I'm thinking, "Where did I go wrong?" I worry. I stress. I cry. I pray ( not nearly enough).
My reassurance comes in simple moments. The other day I caught Aidan (3) with one arm around Davyn (nearly 2), and the other hand held against D's face. He said, "You're my best friend, DB (one of many nicknames). When I was little I couldn't do thumbs up, only pinky up. When you get bigger you will do thumbs up and pinky up." D leaned in and they cuddled for a moment. Of course, my eyes were wet watching this scene. D also wets my eyes with his kisses & smiles. Today at the movie theater he sat by two older ladies, made eyes at them, waved, smiled, flirted. It very obviously made their day. His love is louder than any clearly spoken words. In such simple moments I think I just might be helping to form some amazing&decent humans.